Grateful for ....,

Inspired by Super Ordinary Mum's post Here are the things I was grateful for this week! Grateful for eggs..... Miss 8 has finally our grown her egg allergy! Hooray!!!!! Do you know how hard it is to live without eggs in your house????? Grateful that my positive psychology group is going so well at work! I'm so inspired to be teaching people the power of positivity! Grateful that it was back to school and back to routine. As much as I love the holidays, I know my kids need to be where they can learn and be challenged with ideas and where they can be with their friends! Grateful for France and Bastille day.....what a brilliant excuse to drink champagne and eat cheese! Grateful for love- as my kids get older, I appreciate their cuddles and their love even more. I am no longer the centre of their universe, I think I'm demoted to taxi driver .... But they still show me they love me and I'm grateful for that! Life is good!

Right under my nose!

You know I've spent a lot of time thinking about why things end......well friendships and why people don't get me? The defriending on Facebook gets to me! Tell me why!!!!! I think people look at my geekish husband and wonder why! I worry that people don't like my kids! But recently I've reframed my thinking and realised how wonderful life really is! I have some true friends! You know the ones go out of their way for me! I have the kindest husband! And my kids may not be the brightest but they have their talents! And most importantly these people, especially my husband and kids give me joy! By trying to find one little happy thing everyday I've realised my life is much more happy than miserable! So to all my insecurities .....well your still there but I'm welcoming my happiness and ignoring you!

I could write a million posts tonight

I was going to write about mothers day and how I miss my Mum!!!!! But really I've been there and done that and frankly right now I'm totally pissed off with her for dying, so what am I going to write....my mum annoys me because she didn't have it in her to live on.....not really nice! Then I was going to write about being a Mum, but this week you could call me the half assed Mum.....two mornings I left miss 8 in the hope that Daddy would drop her off on the bus.....he did,! The next morning I literally dumped her out the car door and on Friday I was late and left her lunch in the fridge! Let's not go into pickups......6pm is an acceptable time, isn't it????? And let's not mention Mr teen (previously known as Master 12).....yep mother of the year totally forgot to book the parent teacher interviews.....thankfully the report required none! But really Mum of the year! Oh and the fact that I just dropped him at his soccer game so I could drive Miss eight to the gold coast for an ice skating lesson....what's wrong with an ice number on the wrist I say! And then there is work......half assed Mum beats half assed worker, with her unfinished stats and reports......I went into this career to help people!!!!!! But then today, as I drove past a school in a less fortunate area, and saw a sign offering breakfast before Naplan and Mr teen asked me why that school would do that, I realised as a half assed busy working Mum, who is always late and tows a fine line ......I ain't that bad, I love my kids, I feed them, I dress them (Miss 8 in high end shops ....cause I'ld rather spend money on her than my tummy covering smocks), I love them and I care for them. And as Mr teen pointed out.....I give them darn good holiday's and he has never been smacked! I should be proud, because maybe I don't meet my expectations......but I'm doing ok!!!! And maybe my anger is just anger at the cancer, not my Mum! And maybe life isn't that bad and maybe I'm not the half assed Mum.....maybe it's just a bad week!

Lesson Learnt - Happiness is looking after your health!

So today I can't walk properly! My fault !
So here is the story, last week I had a few moles removed including one from my foot! The doctor sent me off with a script for antibiotic's......But Me being Me, I thought I was super woman who didn't need the antibiotic's!
I mean, I can go to boot camp on the beach, I can work with kids all afternoon (with water being the main play thing), I can chase my kids around .......I'm SUPERWOMAN

 But really I'm not ...........LESSON LEARNT!

I need to rest!
I need to take my medicine
I need to slow down



So today I'm bored!
I'm taking it easy!
I'm taking my medicine!!!!

I'M NOT SUPERWOMAN!

I'M JUST AN ORDINARY GIRL!

Travel

In two weeks we will be heading off on holiday to Europe!

Not our first trip there!

Mr 12 and Miss 8 are onto their second passports and so far this is their check list:
Fiji
Thailand
Singapore
Malaysia
Samoa
Bali (Indonesia)
USA
UK
France
Vietnam

Miss 8 has been on an overseas trip every year of her life!

Both my kids  even have their favourite airline! Singapore Airlines in case you are wondering!


I am so grateful that I can afford to give my children this gift .....the gift of seeing the world!

And sometimes I wonder if I am destroying their sense of discovery!
I hope they don't take these trips for granted????

Do they actually want to travel?
Will they become smart asses because of the fact that they have travelled?

I DON'T KNOW!!!


What I do know is that travel broadens the mind.

We have never stayed five star .....and will never stay five star!

They experience life as we love it.....full of adventure!

We try and let them experience some child like things the locals enjoy!

Such as playing in a park in Paris!

So right know our house is full of anticipation and excitement!
Lots of talk about the French Alps, Tuscany and Rome, as well as our favourite Paris!

And this make me happy!

Because Life is Short .....Travel!

Happy for Friendship!

How do you know if a friendship is going to make it or not?
What are the signs?
I was listening to the radio the other day and they described friendship as a bit like dating ....except we do it all the time, with more than one person!
It's so easy to meet people, but not everyone you meet becomes your friend.
And then there is entering the relationship with that person .....the friendship relationship that is! Which is easier than a real relationship because you don't have to be exclusive!
But it's hard and we make mistakes!
Around the time my Mum died I lost judgement in friendships. I don't think I had my judgement goggles on?
Friendship One was with a woman who literally turned on me in a very nasty way. I said something she didn't like and she exploded in rage .....I've kept the text messages to remind me of it, in case I lose judgement again. It was a difficult time for me and what I said may have hurt a little but it did not deserve rage in a text message! She is a nice person when she doesn't fly off the handle. I should have known by her relationship she had with her mother, sisters and husband ....someone was doing her wrong, she was always angry at one of them. Lesson learnt!!!!
Friend Two .....she wooed me, and then dumped me cold! Unlike the other one, where I ran a mile .....this one  just left me cold! The phone calls stopped, the text messages stopped, the nice facebook comments stopped. And because she had wooed me, I didn't stop to notice the underlying nasties going on. This one took me a long time to get over .....what had I done wrong! What I forgot to check was what was it that I had in conman with her .....answer booze!
You need a common ground with friendship!
I've made a few new friends more recently ..... One I have a lot of conman ground with; reading, parenting, travel similar views on life! I can see her and not have a drink, I can phone her and ask her to pick up Miss 8 from school and it's not a problem and if it is she'll tell me not bitch about it!
She understands what it is like to be a working Mum (maybe because she is one too) . And that you are a Mum you only want what is best for your child! She got it so well that without being asked she took photo's of Miss 8 at her swimming carnival and sent them to me on the day via SMS......my whole workplace was cheering Miss 8! She didn't bitch that I wasn't there or ignore and say oh well that's what you get for being a working Mum .....and I didn't have to ask! So special to me!
And then there is my BFF, she has grown with me .... and this week she took me to Canberra to the National Gallery to the Renaissance exhibit. Why? Because she could and she wanted too and she knew my inner geek (actually my inner geek is fairly outer) would love it and my mind would be taken to far off places in far off times (can't wait for Italy now). She accepts who I am am! We have grown up together, so she's like a sister to me ......Love her!
I have another good friend who lives in London. She is meeting us in Rome. I've known her for about six years now and she is so lovely .....would do anything for me! So kind!
So I am Happy to have special friends in my life! One's who love me and get me .....I'll try hard not to impress the others!
I have many friends .....I am grateful to them all!
I am happy for friendship!!!

Food Glorious Food!!

I think since Facebook, I've lost the art of cooking, reading recipe  books and all round good eating!
I think I got caught up in the soap opera of face book!
But since I've been looking at my happy moments ....who is doing what is less important and other things are more important ....Still love Facebook though !
So this week I've enjoyed some yummy food!
Vietnamese out with my family on Sunday!
Being given a recipe for a beautiful orange cake.
Discussing recipe's with a friend, and food shopping!
A few weeks ago I even made a pizza from scratch!
I love food ....My Dad is a chef, so I should be good at food!

So here is to rediscovering a passion .....and finding happiness!

Happy for Family

On Sunday night, my Husband, Mr 12 and Miss 8 went out on a family night!
We went for dinner at Southbank at a beautiful Vietnamese restaurant followed by a trip to the theatre to see Mary Poppins!

What struck me was there delight I get from these three special people in my life!
Honestly I could have just sat and watched with Mr 12 or Miss 8's face all night enjoying the musical!

I think in the busyness of life we forget how much beauty there is in those we love are.

Sometimes I think I've been missing my Mum too much to stop and see exactly what was right in front of me......pure love and pure enjoyment!

I'm not for one moment describing my kids as perfect ......far from it! But they are mine, and I love them! They are funny, kind and best of all I enjoy hanging out with them ....and Hubby too!

It was lovely to see how Mary Poppins changed the outlook for the 'Bank's' family .....I think she may have made a few changes in my outlook too .....So thanks Mary!

Sometimes we need to reflect on what we have rather than what is lost!

Love you my family and I look forward to many more family dates filled with fun and laughter xxoo

The Art of Romance!

Finding Happiness in Love!

Roughly 20 years ago my eighteen year old self went out with a friend to a nightclub! It was the fourth of July and we were out to get free drinks from American sailors who were in town! She also invited her male friend, who turned up with a long  blonde fringe and wearing a rather nice coat (It was the early nineties ....she chambray shirt was pretty hot too) and a dashing English accent (my weakness), I was smitten and we started going out!
But my friend kept telling me he was creepy and so I used my best Cosmo dump line .....your not the sort of man I want to go out with, you are the type I wan to Marry!
Lucky for me, he took his dumping well and after many drunken pashes (with one another) we finally got it together ....our families thought we had been together for years anyway!

Fast forward twenty years, a time living overseas, two kids, a marriage, two houses later ....the boy with the blonde locks has now gone darker and a bit old and his accent has faded a bit ...but now no one can tell me he is creepy cause I know they are wrong!

So on this week ....the most romantic of them all because of Valentine's my husband surprises me with a big bunch of flowers delivered to my work

The flowers mean a lot but really it's the little things that make our relationship so wonderful

The coffee in the morning

The way he loves our children

The way he hugs me

When he cleans the kitchen

The way he sticks by me, he supports me, he encourages me!

He is my Soul Mate.....My everything and I love him!

So thanks for the flowers ....I loved them!

But next year I won't expect them, because for me Romance is everywhere

xxxooo

Little bit's of happiness ...going with the flow!

Sometimes it's so easy to point my phone and take a picture and other day are much harder ....but her are the last ten days or so!

Drinkies with my fantastic neighbours .....in their beautiful house!

A quick dip on a summer's afternoon

Pizza made from scratch!

Actually making the time to be organised!!!

Reading the Sunday Paper in Bed!!

Another fantastic 'Poppy' meal

Friends over for a swim

The list goes on!

I suppose the man who orchestrates many of the happy moments in my life is my wonderful caring and loving husband! I count myself as blessed in life! Just one example of his love is almost every day since we moved in together, my wonderful caring man has made me a hot drink in bed every morning ......He makes me happy every day xxoo

Here he is with the other woman .....good thing I'm happy to share him with her!

Working Mum v's SAHM

Thank you Gwyneth  ........NOT!
Today I have read a few blogs about Gwyneth Paltrow's article which I think appeared in a UK magazine!
In the article Gwyneth stated that she believed that Woman who choose to have children should stay at home!
Hello Gwyneth in your lovely made up world of famous people I am sure you can have this rule!
In the real world there a many a day where I would love to be home for my children, cooking up a storm for Hubby's return. Actually I would enjoy it for about a week ....and then I would be bored!What would I really do ....here are only so many morning teas you can go to, tuck shop day's, reading helper I could really stand!Not to mention living in the world of Lorna Jane politic's!
But really why do we have the working Mum/ SAHM argument anyway....and what happens when the SAHM decides she needs work?
I've never really been a SAHM...Master 12 was unplanned and at the 12 month mark I had to go back to work .....so we could eat! With Miss 8 I took 12 months maternity leave and went back to work ....so as I said never really been a SAHM.
The other thing is I have a career not a job....a career that doesn't pay well but it gives back to the community. I love the feeling of giving back to the community and I think I'm OK at my job!
So why give up???? My BFF went back to work full time when her little guy was twelve months old. She had the better career and hubby now works part time and looks after their boy! And I'm amazed at how people think he is some kind of genius for doing this .....pretty sure if it was the other way around we would be questioning the wife for working part time.
So really back to my basic statement back to Gwyneth ....If you are a Mum, do what works for you! If you feel you need to work ....do and if you don't well don't!
But to us Working Mum's lets support each other, because somehow in beautiful 2012 ....some 1980's debate is still raising it's ugly head!
PS I would really like to know if Gwyneth runs a stall at the school fete, sells raffle tickets, works on tuck shop or contacts books for the school library ....cause I do!
Oh and Gwyneth hope you or Hubby haven't missed a music concert and listened to the cat crying yells of a string orchestra, and I hope you make it to every assembly and cross country or are you too busy at Yoga?
PS Gwyneth ...I have made the ultimate sacrifice for my kids ....my size eight body! I notice yours is all trimmed and toned!

Finding Happiness in the Return to school and work routine!

Happiness is often harder to find when things return to the routine .....I'm not a routine person and love adventure so I thought it would be a challenge in finding happiness in the routine ....but no, it wasn't as hard as I expected!

Back to school for Mister 12....he missed his friends so seeing him so happy to return to school made my day. He is loving it, looking forward to his first year of high school, No complaints (yet) about homework or his teachers. I'm happy that he is happy.
Me: return to work and a team building day....fantastic for me to learn about my team and how we can work together. I have a feeling work will be better this year and I'm looking forward to working with some great girls.....yeah and the horrid one on my team was transferred so that made me happy!

So happy she had a good day...loves her teacher....has some friends, she is happy, which is a welcome relief from the tears last year .....sometimes time heals and things change ....here is to a good year Miss 8!

As mundane and boring as it is ....the time to shop for and cook and good meal makes me happy. Their are times when I struggle to get a healthy meal on the table ....No we don't live on chicken nuggets, but there have been nights where I have served baked beans because I just don't have the time to cook ...this year I am trying to change that and make to time. Veggies are chopped and in the fridge, I cook and freeze when I can and most of all DH has agreed to help....it will be done!

Doesn't seeing the sun brighten your day! The weather here has been non stop rain for the last few days ...but the sun came out briefly and brightened our day! The weather does have such an impact on your mood ....glad where we live we do have fairly nice weather, most of the time!

Family Sushi night at the local Sushi train! Love spending time with my family and best of all no washing up! Happiness is family time!

Taking Miss 8 to her ice skating lesson. Ice skating has been a confidence boost for Miss 8 and she loves it. Seeing her do something the rest of us can't makes me happy ....even if it does break the bank!

Anyway more mundane next week ....but in the mundane I can find Happiness ....I know!

It's just the way we are!

I see myself as a reasonable cook .....I love good food and I love to bake!
But there is one recipe my husband and I failed on .....the art of making perfect babies.

Sure they look perfectly normal

They have ten fingers and ten toes

They are normal in every way ......except they are hearing impaired!

Both were born before neonatal screening ....which is a blessing in a way because we had years of being 'normal'.....but at three Mister 12 was diagnosed with a moderate to severe loss! He wears hearing aids and a FM. We have worked hard to ensure he communicates like his peers. He probable right now hates me for correcting his language continually but I hope when he is an adult he thanks me.

When Miss 8 was two we were told she had an unusual audio gram but as her language was so advanced for her age not to worry about and get her retested when she started school .... unfortunately when she started Prep my Mum was sick and we didn't worry, so we went on until last year when she started falling behind and we got her tested! She has a mild to moderate loss! She will wear an FM in class now.

This is all good, we live in a country where the equipment is free and we are well cared for. 

So yes we didn't have perfect kids but really who does???

So what do I ask of the universe? Apart from a miraculous cure!
Really what do I ask of my Mummy peers?
I ask that when you child asks what is wrong with my child, you do not ignore or take pity - no oh the poor thing has lost his/her hearing but rather explain that my child wears hearing aids or a FM to help him/her hear.

That you don't complain or feel your child is being held back because your child is in a class with my child and the teacher is wearing an FM - believe me this has happened! But rather accept that my child has just as much a right to be in that class as yours does! 

Don't think your child is kind or extraordinary for playing with the kid who can't hear well, be happy because your child has found a friend.

Don't not invite my child for a play, sleep over or to your child's party because it's too hard. It isn't and I will help if need be.

And when I tell you that we have just had a new diagnosis, don't feel awkward and then excuse yourself because you can't handle difference but rather give me a hug and treat me like normal!
And most of all treat us as you would treat any other family!

A few more happy moments

A week of happiness - birthday's and holidays
This week I remembered the joy of birthdays as Miss eight bounced all around the house the day of her party!
She had a great party and although it was a busy and exhausting for me....Miss eight had a fantastic day and that was all that mattered.
For me, my joy was that it poured with rain after the party!

Of course the next day following her party, Miss 8 actually did turn eight and sharing her joy that day gave me great happiness. I'll be honest I always wanted a daughter, I love girlieness, I love pretty and I feel blessed to have a daughter...to be excited by Smiggle, Barbie and pillow pets! Miss 8 touches my life with so much happiness!

I also learnt this week that Joy comes from remembering your own childhood and reliving those memories .....like the Muppet's......so much loved the movie more than miss 8 and master 12!

My friends also gave me great happiness! I had a tough time last year with some people but my book club got me though and though book club some beautiful friendships were made. I am happy to be a friend to these lovely women! I am happy to give and take in all that friendship means! It is though one friend in particular that I have learnt what friendship means! 

I was also fortunate enough to go on a mini break with my family and my Dad.....my family makes me happy! They love me for who I am. I am participially fortunate to have a wonderful caring husband who spoils me rotten....I don't deserve it but he does!

This is the photo I put on facebook ......sunny perfect and everything! But this was my real moment of happiness!

 Having read a post on Facebook from another friend. I realised I was angry .....I went on a long walk and I let it go....I thought about big things, put myself in other peoples shoes. And I let it go .... happiness is letting go! And then enjoying the cocktails that follow!

And there is this ....reading by the pool, watching my family swim in the pool at the hotel...bliss! 

And last but not least ....Grown up time with my best friend....Love her! She makes me happy!

So what have I learnt?
That their is joyful moments in every day.

That when you reflect on the positive ....the negative is harder to remember!

Even in negative times, when you look for positives they will shine though.

I really don't give a dam if my Facebook friends think I'm mad

......Someone said this was a big commitment for a year.....I never said I would commit for 365 days but I will do this for as long it takes to change my outlook!

My moments of Happiness

I wrote a goal and posted it on Facebook

The goal was simple

2012 I will be Happy and everything else will just have to sort itself out!


Amazingly within twelve hours of posting this goal .....it changed my life!
When someone wrote 'That's a great goal simple but hard to achieve and another person agreed with them! The person who agreed was a person who had given a very good friend a hard time for caring about them. But her agreeing statement showed me what sort of person she was! I'm from the belief that if someone wants something you support them in their need (well if the need is reasonable). But being happy is reasonable! With her one little statement I became aware that no my friend was caring and loving and that what we had been struggling with was a very negative personality!
So as to the statement of happiness being hard to achieve ......I'm going to show them by posting a photo each day of my little moment of happiness or gratefulness! I'm going to achieve my goal and do it with a smile on my face!

Happiness is coffee with these cherubs and my Dad ....my family means everything to me! They define me and  I love each and every one of them! Simple

Well behaved children: I was so sick on this day and my two cherubs entertained themselves ....they trashed the house but they did entertain themselves and let me rest .....why shouldn't I be happy about that!

Living in a country where hygiene, good food and a wonderful medical system means that my little girl will get better! I read on a facebook status of a friend that where we are born is pot luck, you could be born in Africa or India but it's just pot luck where your soul is born....I like that and I guess I'm glad that my pot luck allows me to live in such a wonderful country!

Loving that my kids love their cousins and I love GOMA......one of my favourite places in Brisbane!

5'o'clock happy hour - drinks while the kids swim on a summer afternoon - happy me :)

Impromptu sleepovers - I love making my kids happy and creating memories!

Mango's which remind me of summer: So perfect!

Big Love: cousins- mine was sixteen years older but these two define what cousins should be!Watching them makes me happy

Cleaning up Miss 8's bedroom and that moment when you can see the floor! Perfection! It took me three hours to bin and sort but it was so worth it!

A chocolate cafe- chocolate always brings a smile to my face ......Love Love Love it!!!!

Beautiful old friends coming to visit! These are old workmates who are just beautiful people and wonderful friends! Love them and they make me happy!

And yes there have been bad things that have happened: sickness, my son who is exerting his adolescent independence, a major holiday in tatters: thanks Air Asia, but you know what it will sort itself out and I will focus on the happy moments!