Right under my nose!

You know I've spent a lot of time thinking about why things end......well friendships and why people don't get me? The defriending on Facebook gets to me! Tell me why!!!!! I think people look at my geekish husband and wonder why! I worry that people don't like my kids! But recently I've reframed my thinking and realised how wonderful life really is! I have some true friends! You know the ones go out of their way for me! I have the kindest husband! And my kids may not be the brightest but they have their talents! And most importantly these people, especially my husband and kids give me joy! By trying to find one little happy thing everyday I've realised my life is much more happy than miserable! So to all my insecurities .....well your still there but I'm welcoming my happiness and ignoring you!

I could write a million posts tonight

I was going to write about mothers day and how I miss my Mum!!!!! But really I've been there and done that and frankly right now I'm totally pissed off with her for dying, so what am I going to write....my mum annoys me because she didn't have it in her to live on.....not really nice! Then I was going to write about being a Mum, but this week you could call me the half assed Mum.....two mornings I left miss 8 in the hope that Daddy would drop her off on the bus.....he did,! The next morning I literally dumped her out the car door and on Friday I was late and left her lunch in the fridge! Let's not go into pickups......6pm is an acceptable time, isn't it????? And let's not mention Mr teen (previously known as Master 12).....yep mother of the year totally forgot to book the parent teacher interviews.....thankfully the report required none! But really Mum of the year! Oh and the fact that I just dropped him at his soccer game so I could drive Miss eight to the gold coast for an ice skating lesson....what's wrong with an ice number on the wrist I say! And then there is work......half assed Mum beats half assed worker, with her unfinished stats and reports......I went into this career to help people!!!!!! But then today, as I drove past a school in a less fortunate area, and saw a sign offering breakfast before Naplan and Mr teen asked me why that school would do that, I realised as a half assed busy working Mum, who is always late and tows a fine line ......I ain't that bad, I love my kids, I feed them, I dress them (Miss 8 in high end shops ....cause I'ld rather spend money on her than my tummy covering smocks), I love them and I care for them. And as Mr teen pointed out.....I give them darn good holiday's and he has never been smacked! I should be proud, because maybe I don't meet my expectations......but I'm doing ok!!!! And maybe my anger is just anger at the cancer, not my Mum! And maybe life isn't that bad and maybe I'm not the half assed Mum.....maybe it's just a bad week!