A look back and a look forward

Happy New Year! A year of new beginnings? I hope not! I liked 2012, so I am hopeful it's just a continuation of what path we were on!
So where was I twelve months ago?
I spent the day on the phone to air Asia because they cancelled my flights to Europe! I was worried at the time that we had lost our money! All was ok and we went! Defiantly a first world problem, and we went to Europe with no money lost.......thank you AirAsia, KLM, and travel associates.

Where was I five years ago?
The year was 2008, and Miss 8 was three, mr teen was 8. We lived in our little house and had just put in our severey window on our deck. My Mum was alive and well. I did not know it at the time but life was pretty much perfect. Well at leat that's what my memory tells me.

Where was I ten years ago?
The year was 2003. I remember in January 2003, My Mr, Mr teen who was three and I went camping in Noosa. It was during this holiday that we decieded it was time to give Mr three a baby brother or sister, only to return home and to find out that my sister was pregnant. This was not upsetting but my mother telling me that I should not be consider getting pregnant as I would be destroying my sisters limelight. I was deverstated!!!!
Funnily enough a few months later I broke Mum's rules and fell pregnant! And I didn't steal my sisters precious limelight! and Mum really didn't care, she was delighted to have a granddaughter.

So much happiness and sadness in my past. But for every hurdle the is twice as many smiles
So where am I going?

Where do I see my self in one year?
In a year I see myself on our new deck organising what will be Miss ten's birthday party, hopefully Mr 14, will still be giving hugs and my Mr will be will be busy doing his Masters project. I too will have done at least one subject of my masters.

Where do I see myself in five years?
 2018 Our renovation completed.....phew.
Mr teen studying at university and Miss eight will be 13 going on 14 and in her chosen high school and happy.
Mr will be happy in his job and debts will be on their way out.
I will have finished my masters and defiantly working full time.

Where do I see myself in ten years?
2023
Mr teen will be 23 and completed Uni, he probably will still be at home, but busy living his life.
Miss eight will be 18, almost 19 and at Uni and happy.
We will have done our white Christmas somewhere in the world as a family a few years before.
Our debts will be paid.
We will still be happily married and working to pay for our travels (sorry guys)

I'm realistic I know there will be bumps but I am planning on withstanding the bumps. I'm planing on enjoying life.

Grateful for ....,

Inspired by Super Ordinary Mum's post Here are the things I was grateful for this week! Grateful for eggs..... Miss 8 has finally our grown her egg allergy! Hooray!!!!! Do you know how hard it is to live without eggs in your house????? Grateful that my positive psychology group is going so well at work! I'm so inspired to be teaching people the power of positivity! Grateful that it was back to school and back to routine. As much as I love the holidays, I know my kids need to be where they can learn and be challenged with ideas and where they can be with their friends! Grateful for France and Bastille day.....what a brilliant excuse to drink champagne and eat cheese! Grateful for love- as my kids get older, I appreciate their cuddles and their love even more. I am no longer the centre of their universe, I think I'm demoted to taxi driver .... But they still show me they love me and I'm grateful for that! Life is good!

Right under my nose!

You know I've spent a lot of time thinking about why things end......well friendships and why people don't get me? The defriending on Facebook gets to me! Tell me why!!!!! I think people look at my geekish husband and wonder why! I worry that people don't like my kids! But recently I've reframed my thinking and realised how wonderful life really is! I have some true friends! You know the ones go out of their way for me! I have the kindest husband! And my kids may not be the brightest but they have their talents! And most importantly these people, especially my husband and kids give me joy! By trying to find one little happy thing everyday I've realised my life is much more happy than miserable! So to all my insecurities .....well your still there but I'm welcoming my happiness and ignoring you!

I could write a million posts tonight

I was going to write about mothers day and how I miss my Mum!!!!! But really I've been there and done that and frankly right now I'm totally pissed off with her for dying, so what am I going to write....my mum annoys me because she didn't have it in her to live on.....not really nice! Then I was going to write about being a Mum, but this week you could call me the half assed Mum.....two mornings I left miss 8 in the hope that Daddy would drop her off on the bus.....he did,! The next morning I literally dumped her out the car door and on Friday I was late and left her lunch in the fridge! Let's not go into pickups......6pm is an acceptable time, isn't it????? And let's not mention Mr teen (previously known as Master 12).....yep mother of the year totally forgot to book the parent teacher interviews.....thankfully the report required none! But really Mum of the year! Oh and the fact that I just dropped him at his soccer game so I could drive Miss eight to the gold coast for an ice skating lesson....what's wrong with an ice number on the wrist I say! And then there is work......half assed Mum beats half assed worker, with her unfinished stats and reports......I went into this career to help people!!!!!! But then today, as I drove past a school in a less fortunate area, and saw a sign offering breakfast before Naplan and Mr teen asked me why that school would do that, I realised as a half assed busy working Mum, who is always late and tows a fine line ......I ain't that bad, I love my kids, I feed them, I dress them (Miss 8 in high end shops ....cause I'ld rather spend money on her than my tummy covering smocks), I love them and I care for them. And as Mr teen pointed out.....I give them darn good holiday's and he has never been smacked! I should be proud, because maybe I don't meet my expectations......but I'm doing ok!!!! And maybe my anger is just anger at the cancer, not my Mum! And maybe life isn't that bad and maybe I'm not the half assed Mum.....maybe it's just a bad week!

Lesson Learnt - Happiness is looking after your health!

So today I can't walk properly! My fault !
So here is the story, last week I had a few moles removed including one from my foot! The doctor sent me off with a script for antibiotic's......But Me being Me, I thought I was super woman who didn't need the antibiotic's!
I mean, I can go to boot camp on the beach, I can work with kids all afternoon (with water being the main play thing), I can chase my kids around .......I'm SUPERWOMAN

 But really I'm not ...........LESSON LEARNT!

I need to rest!
I need to take my medicine
I need to slow down



So today I'm bored!
I'm taking it easy!
I'm taking my medicine!!!!

I'M NOT SUPERWOMAN!

I'M JUST AN ORDINARY GIRL!

Travel

In two weeks we will be heading off on holiday to Europe!

Not our first trip there!

Mr 12 and Miss 8 are onto their second passports and so far this is their check list:
Fiji
Thailand
Singapore
Malaysia
Samoa
Bali (Indonesia)
USA
UK
France
Vietnam

Miss 8 has been on an overseas trip every year of her life!

Both my kids  even have their favourite airline! Singapore Airlines in case you are wondering!


I am so grateful that I can afford to give my children this gift .....the gift of seeing the world!

And sometimes I wonder if I am destroying their sense of discovery!
I hope they don't take these trips for granted????

Do they actually want to travel?
Will they become smart asses because of the fact that they have travelled?

I DON'T KNOW!!!


What I do know is that travel broadens the mind.

We have never stayed five star .....and will never stay five star!

They experience life as we love it.....full of adventure!

We try and let them experience some child like things the locals enjoy!

Such as playing in a park in Paris!

So right know our house is full of anticipation and excitement!
Lots of talk about the French Alps, Tuscany and Rome, as well as our favourite Paris!

And this make me happy!

Because Life is Short .....Travel!

Happy for Friendship!

How do you know if a friendship is going to make it or not?
What are the signs?
I was listening to the radio the other day and they described friendship as a bit like dating ....except we do it all the time, with more than one person!
It's so easy to meet people, but not everyone you meet becomes your friend.
And then there is entering the relationship with that person .....the friendship relationship that is! Which is easier than a real relationship because you don't have to be exclusive!
But it's hard and we make mistakes!
Around the time my Mum died I lost judgement in friendships. I don't think I had my judgement goggles on?
Friendship One was with a woman who literally turned on me in a very nasty way. I said something she didn't like and she exploded in rage .....I've kept the text messages to remind me of it, in case I lose judgement again. It was a difficult time for me and what I said may have hurt a little but it did not deserve rage in a text message! She is a nice person when she doesn't fly off the handle. I should have known by her relationship she had with her mother, sisters and husband ....someone was doing her wrong, she was always angry at one of them. Lesson learnt!!!!
Friend Two .....she wooed me, and then dumped me cold! Unlike the other one, where I ran a mile .....this one  just left me cold! The phone calls stopped, the text messages stopped, the nice facebook comments stopped. And because she had wooed me, I didn't stop to notice the underlying nasties going on. This one took me a long time to get over .....what had I done wrong! What I forgot to check was what was it that I had in conman with her .....answer booze!
You need a common ground with friendship!
I've made a few new friends more recently ..... One I have a lot of conman ground with; reading, parenting, travel similar views on life! I can see her and not have a drink, I can phone her and ask her to pick up Miss 8 from school and it's not a problem and if it is she'll tell me not bitch about it!
She understands what it is like to be a working Mum (maybe because she is one too) . And that you are a Mum you only want what is best for your child! She got it so well that without being asked she took photo's of Miss 8 at her swimming carnival and sent them to me on the day via SMS......my whole workplace was cheering Miss 8! She didn't bitch that I wasn't there or ignore and say oh well that's what you get for being a working Mum .....and I didn't have to ask! So special to me!
And then there is my BFF, she has grown with me .... and this week she took me to Canberra to the National Gallery to the Renaissance exhibit. Why? Because she could and she wanted too and she knew my inner geek (actually my inner geek is fairly outer) would love it and my mind would be taken to far off places in far off times (can't wait for Italy now). She accepts who I am am! We have grown up together, so she's like a sister to me ......Love her!
I have another good friend who lives in London. She is meeting us in Rome. I've known her for about six years now and she is so lovely .....would do anything for me! So kind!
So I am Happy to have special friends in my life! One's who love me and get me .....I'll try hard not to impress the others!
I have many friends .....I am grateful to them all!
I am happy for friendship!!!